Wanting to be someone else

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“Monday Motivation!”

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.
~ Kurt Cobain

Isn’t is hard enough to be yourself without trying to be someone else? And Kurt Cobain was right – what a waste.  You are probably a great person and when you are trying to be someone else you are not able to be you!

And you are probably not that good at being someone else cause it’s just not natural.

Again, you are not that good at being someone else so you aren’t being good at being you cause you aren’t being you so, helllllo, everything is all messed up!

So the moral of the story?  Just be yourself.  It is the only choice that makes sense.

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 2% [?]

We Don’t See Things As They Are

“Monday Motivation!”

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

~ Anais Nin

I never realized the truth in that statement.  It reminded me of the day my sister passed away.  My world as I knew it changed forever.  I was devastated yet as I was driving through town people were milling about and going about their business like nothing happened!  They were running errands, going to the post office, grocery shopping, like everything was normal.  How could that be?  Didn’t they know!  It was an eerie feeling.  The world was stopped and in limbo.  We should stop and regroup, figure things out, what were we going to do now.  That didn’t happen.  I didn’t understand.

Our current trauma is my grandson’s battle with cancer.  Everyone in the world knows about Drake and his battle, right?  They must know, it is so consuming.  Childhood cancer is rare, we live in a small town, everyone chats.  They know all the detail.  How would anyone not know the life and death situation of this little baby.  Even the people in my extended circle or especially the people in my extended circle.  Again, nope.  I am amazed.

Yeah, I know, the world does not revolve around me.  I don’t expect everyone I know to have all the details of my life.  I really don’t.  We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.

What about me?  The verdict is in – guilty.  I tend to live in my own little world and I guess you can say that about most people.

My world is a world without drugs, crime, violence etc.  Those things happen to other people in other places.  Fortunately, I do live in a low crime rate area.  However, apparently there is enough of a drug problem in our area to warrant a whole court division known as “drug court”.  Not only has the court system developed this separate division to deal with this problem, it is always over booked and yet meets once a week!  How can that be?

How can it be that I don’t see things as they are?  Sort of feels kind of eerie.  Am I that unaware of my surroundings?  That’s probably not good.  Is it possible that I just see things as I am?

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 6% [?]

He That Is Good For Making Excuses..

“Monday Motivation!”

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.”
~ Benjamin Franklin

Confession: I “stole” this quote from Happiness is better from one of  his “tweets”.

Have you ever noticed that there comes a time in your life when you turn into your parents?  You don’t see it coming.  In fact, you spend half of your young adult life trying to be completely different, the opposite.  Somehow it happens.  You don’t even see it coming.  You are in a  discussion and suddenly the conversation turns to those other people.  The “other” generation that is always messing things up.  You know the conversation (you’ve heard it before) starts out -  “when I was a kid”.  Kind of like “the good ole’ days”.

We reap what we sow

For the most part, the current generation is molded and sculpted by the immediate past generation.  The generation that is always complaining about the current generation.  In other words, we reap what we sow.  I remember being told that we had to be careful how we raised our children.  Everything we did or said would affect the outcome of this little persons life.  I was afraid to speak to my child.  What if I said the wrong thing?  What if they thought badly of themselves. Their whole life would be ruined!

We couldn’t scold them because we would squash their self esteem.  Competition wasn’t really that popular because there was always a winner and a loser and we wanted everyone to be a winner.  Yeah, don’t we all?  Welcome to reality.

Then there was the “encouragement” talk.  When something went wrong or didn’t go their way, it wasn’t their fault.  If it was their fault, they would feel bad and have low self esteem so it always had to be someone or something else to blame.

It’s time to be accountable

In any event, regardless of who is responsible for the molding and sculpting, there comes a time in every individuals life that personal responsibility becomes important.  Eventually, (hopefully) you will be accountable for your actions or inactions.  Most people want to be accountable for their success right?  Well the good comes with the bad, it’s that whole equal and opposite action and reaction theory thing going on.  You can’t have one without the other.  Either you are or you aren’t.

Some people spend more time and energy figuring out who or what to blame when things go wrong then time or energy figuring out how to correct or change something.   For the most part, what difference does it make?  Yeah, you need to evaluate what went wrong, take note and change direction.  The important part here is to “change” not complain.   I have always thought that if people spent as much time and energy on fixing or changing things as they did on making excuses they wouldn’t have time to notice the “poor me” attitude.  Please, just do something.

It just drives me crazy when people spend good time on nonsense. At the end of the day, is it really important who, what, when or why? Or is it really important that something was accomplished or successful or you even moved forward!

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 7% [?]

Whoever Is Happy

“Monday Motivation!”

“Whoever is happy will make others happy too…”

~ Anne Frank

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to make yourself happy? Why?

Because..You know exactly

What you want

How much you want

When you want it

Why you want it

I love flowers.  All kinds, all colors, all fragrances, just flowers.  They are so bright and cheery and they make me bright and cheery.  They just make me feel good, all warm and fuzzy.  Where and how I get them doesn’t matter, only that I get them.  On the happiness scale of 1-10, I am at a full 10!

If my husband or my children or even my grandchildren get me flowers, I absolutely love it.  On a happiness scale of 1-10,  I bust the scale with an 11.  Still, the point is flowers.  And the point is, I don’t sit around wishing someone would make me happy by getting me flowers.  I get them myself because it makes me happy.  How easy it that?

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to make yourself happy?

Yet, it is so difficult to make someone else happy (for any length of time anyway).

There is a great discussion at Ian’s blog about the affect of each person involved in trying to make someone else happy.  In the end, I don’t think either is happy.   That adds insult to injury as they say.

If it is important to you that others are happy and if what Anne Frank said is true, “Whoever is happy will make others happy too…” then we all know what to do.

Concentrate on yourself first.

Everyone says that.  You see that everywhere, you hear that everywhere.  Why do people feel the need to keep repeating it?  Because sometimes it is hard to comprehend.  At least for some people.  I have had discussions with others, usually women, who feel it is selfish to think of themselves first.

It is time to change your thoughts in that regard. You cannot save someone else if you don’t first save yourself. If you change your thoughts, you change your world.

I, for one, have to remind myself frequently that I am important too.

Do you find yourself struggling to make someone else happy?  Do you find that if you are happy it is contagious to those around you?

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 10% [?]

When All Is Said And Done

“Monday Motivation!”

“When all is said and done, more is said than done…”
~ Lou Holtz

Scenario One:

Everyone is sitting around the kitchen table discussing the most recent dilemma and how it should be handled.  All of the wisdom is here to help.    “I would do this and I would do that or maybe you should do this.”

Scenario Two:

Everyone knows what the dilemma is.   They know what course you are on or which one you chose.  Everyone knows about it. Now everyone has even more wisdom.  You get to hear what they would have done after you have already entered into your action plan!  You know, the shoulda, woulda, coulda advice.  Or, “I could have done that for you, why didn’t you ask me?” Yeah, annoying.

Scenario Three:

I want to do this.  I want to do that.  Or I’m going to do this and I’m going to do that.  You get the point.

So, are you the type?  More is said than done? Actually, it’s not really another scenario.  It’s my true confessions.

I guess I am guilty of more is said than done sometimes.  I’m not sure what percentage I would confess to.

I’m probably more the “do as I say not as I do” type.   I have alot of brilliant ideas.  I know exactly what to do in most any situation.  Aw, if only I was as good at practicing what I preach.

What about you?

I kind of know alot of people like that.  Do you know the type?  The more than said is done type?  Do most people have that attitude?

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 6% [?]

You Decide What Kind Of Person To Be

“Monday Motivation!”

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

That is a powerful statement and somewhat contentious.  Is there any truth to this manifesto?

Yes and No.  I love that answer.

Let’s deal with the declaration that – No, it is not entirely true.

It could be argued that the person you are destined to be is formed right from the start.  Your parents determine what kind of person you will be.  You are taught what to do, how to act, what is appropriate behavior, what is inappropriate behavior.  You are even taught what to like, what to not like.

You are an infant, a toddler, a child – you believe what you are told.  It is who you are.

Then you become an impressionable teenager.  You start to make some choices of your own.  Your friends know more than your parents, it’s time to follow them.

This is where – Yes, you become the person you decide to be.

“CHOICE”

–noun

an act or instance of choosing, selection;

the right, power, or opportunity to choose;

option carefully selected

Choice – therein lies the problem.  That is where you need to take personal responsibility.  You truly are the only one who can choose for you.

Yes, I understand there are pressures.  I myself feel compelled to do or say certain things I may not really want to but when it gets right down to it…you and you alone are responsible for who you are and what you do.

It is your day by day actions that speak louder than words.  Again, guilty of that one.  I have voiced my opinion one way and acted another.  It’s easier to say than do?  Totally true.

So, at the end of the day it can be said that your parents tried to mold your character as they saw right but it doesn’t always work out that way.  You can choose to live by and adopt their values or you can choose not to.  I am not saying either way is right or wrong, I’m saying the choice is yours, you decide what kind of person to be.

What do you think?  Do you see situations that might argue against this theory?

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 9% [?]

Defeat Is Not The Worst..

“Monday Motivation!”

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.

~ George Edward Woodberry

You know I have said time and again “What’s the worst that can happen?” in regards to making decisions. If you have that attitude and use that philosophy to guide you with your choices, and you can live with whatever the “worst” is, then it is easier to go for it.

It sounds so easy. In order to succeed your desire for success has to be stronger than your fear of failure.  These type of quotes must speak to me loudly because I usually choose them.

It does resonate with me because fear stops me from doing a lot of things. Most of the time I don’t even know what I am afraid of.  Sometimes I think I have somewhat pinpointed the fear or think I know what is stopping me, but it usually sounds so silly that I don’t believe I have realized what the fear is.

• Fear of failure.

• What will people think?

• I will look silly.

These are all “who cares” excuses.   I have been amazed with myself at my courage with some events in my life and have also been just as amazed at the extreme paralyzing fear that has stopped me from the smallest challenges.

So what really stops a person from trying to be successful?  All of the above and then some.  What can  a person do to overcome these fears?

Usually previous successes  inspire me to try new challenges.  If I can pull that off, I can certainly do this.

This post doesn’t have all the answers.  More like all the questions.

What do you do to overcome your fears?  What drives you to face your challenges?

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 11% [?]

We Cannot Live Only For Ourselves

“Monday Motivation!”

“We cannot live only for ourselves.
A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men…”

~ Herman Melville

I was going to say that it would be impossible for someone to live only for themselves.  To live without any interaction with anyone.  But we all know that it is possible and that it has happened.

I believe (in my world) that we cannot live only for ourselves.  The other quote that “It takes a whole village to raise a child” is very true.  My family has learned that first hand.  Being part of a community is too wonderful in too many ways.

When you are developing a new community you do not have the intention or the mindset of “what’s in it for me”.  Not usually anyway.  Generally, you are looking for a connection, a way to fit in.  Most often you are also looking to give back, to contribute and help with your talents.

We cannot live only for ourselves. When they say – it’s a small world – they are not kidding.  What part of today did not involve someone  else even in the very smallest way.  You probably can not think of a time or incident when you were not doing something for someone or someone was not doing something for you.

Would you have it any other way?

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 17% [?]

I Tried, I Really Did

“Monday Motivation!”

“If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying?
If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?”
~ Shantideva

I’m not sure if you have arrived at the right place today. You might be hard pressed to find Monday Motivation here at BloggerNewbie.

The last few weeks have been rough to say the least. My 2 yr old grandson has been in remission for a little over 10 months and we had become accustomed to thinking about cancer only once or twice a day. Unfortunately, it is back and the “C” word consumes our thoughts and lives by the minute.

I found today’s quote while searching for wisdom and it certainly makes sense. Today it doesn’t make me feel much better, but it makes sense.

I tried to get motivated. It just wouldn’t come. It didn’t matter what I said to myself, I just couldn’t. I reminded myself of all the reasons why I needed to be positive. I gave myself a long talking to. It just wasn’t happening.

I have fallen off the perky pedestal. (On the inside).

I will keep trying to get up because that is my personality. Some “won’t give up – keep moving – no matter what” (annoying sometimes) characteristic deeply embedded in my soul. I try to ignore it, believe me, over the years, I have tried to cover up my head and stay in bed but whatever it is (in hindsight – thank goodness most of the time) deep inside, it just will not let me lay there.

I have written posts about Drake and his journey in the past under I don’t know where to begin. There is also a website set up at Caring Bridge – Drake Gratton that chronicles his story and thoughts from family and friends. Caring Bridge is a great not-for-profit site that allows our family the ease of keeping everyone updated.

So for today’s Monday Motivation – I must point you towards the reliable archives!

A few of my favorites:

Courage is..

Change your thoughts..

How do you react?

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 11% [?]

Be Who You Are

“Monday Motivation!”

“Be who you are and be that well…”
~ Saint Francis de Sales

Be who you are and be that well. Sounds easy to me.  Who else are you going to be anyway?  One would think that being who you are is a natural flow.  That being who you are is the easy way out.  That being someone you aren’t would require a lot of time and skill.

Yes and no.

Very often, being yourself takes courage.  What if they don’t like me?  What if I say something or do something stupid?  So being someone else or being something that you are not may be the easy way out.

It doesn’t make sense to pretend to be something or someone you are not.  People can only be fake for so long then the “real you” will eventually come out.  When you grow into your comfort zone with someone, the real you settles in, slow but sure.  Imagine the shock of the other person when suddenly the little habits you once found so charming are now annoying to you?  What happened, she used to think it was cute when I left the toilet seat up?

In order to be who you are and be that well you need to know – Who are you?

Sounds like a silly question to some.  It is actually quite serious.  It is almost as difficult of a question to answer as “what do you want”.  I like to listen to my inner voice to guide me as to who I am.  I used to think I liked to paint and paper walls, turns out I just liked having it done.

It is often a struggle to be who you are when it conflicts with  others opinions or wants.  There can be confrontations that make you uncomfortable.  You have to ask yourself, what is more important – to be who I am or to be who someone else wants me to be?  We all know what that answer is.

When I struggle with who I am I remember and reflect on the two most powerful words .  Whatever I want, I am whatever I want to be, whatever I set my mind to be.  If you focus on who you are you are more successful of being who you are well.

I believe that if you be who you are and be that well people around you will appreciate the real authentic you sincerely and wholeheartedly.

Do you remember the last time you realized someone was not who you thought they were?  More importantly, do you remember the last time you realized you were not being who you really are?

Toodles – Blog Happy!

Popularity: 15% [?]

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