That Dreaded 4-letter Word!
September 24, 2008 by BloggerNewbie
Yup - FEAR!
Fear can and will paralyze you. When you sense danger or some sort of threat,
fear will prevent you from taking action, stop you in your tracks, turn you around, even shut you up!
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of the dark? Afraid of heights? Of snakes? (my mom’s biggest fear.) My sister is afraid of thunder and lightning. Are these real fears? They certainly are real to them.
Fear is when you sense danger or some sort of threat? Hmmm… “Sense” would be the key word here. Some people have social fears like going to the grocery store or other similar public place. How’s that for a fear. Fear of what? What could possibly be at the grocery store that a person can be afraid of? What is the danger or threat? Good question. As near as I can figure - it’s people.
A friend of mine will do anything to avoid going to the grocery store. She will try to get her daughters to go for her. They will go for her more often than not if they are around or available. She used to bribe them if she had to. If they weren’t around, sometimes she would call them to come over then ask them to go.
When she goes with someone else she is fine. She just can’t go alone. Even if it’s her grandchildren, she is fine. So what are these babies going to do about this danger or threat? She tells me “If I have them with me, I concentrate on them and only them so I have no opportunity to interact with anyone else. Except strangers, who don’t usually bother me. They save me from being able to stop and chat with people.”
So you need to face your fear head on and try to get past it. If all else fails, she will only go to the grocery store when she absolutely has to. When she is out of something she can’t live without; usually it’s something her husband can’t live without. She takes a few days to talk herself into it, gets herself all brave, writes a list of absolutely everything she needs cause she’s only going to do this once. Typically, once she gets to the store, she will change her mind and leave. Then she has to figure out what she is going to say about why she didn’t go to the store. “I forgot, they didn’t have any, I’ll go tomorrow.” Or, frequently, she will get the one or two things that she absolutely needs.
Can you turn it on and off? No. But you can try to work through it. I try to encourage her to be brave. She isn’t really sure what she’s afraid of. I stopped by this weekend to see how she was doing or if I could help. She is getting better. 
She told me “I am tired and annoyed of being afraid of going to the grocery store or any other similar public place. I get angry and promise myself that I am just going to go. No matter what. I will just breathe through my panic and push forward. I am getting better every time I go by myself. I went by myself today. My husband wouldn’t go with me and I just had to go. I was fine. I lived, no “people” bothered me. Life is good!”
I was so happy for her and so sad for her at the same time. This fear is so real to her.
What are you afraid of? What do you do to avoid your fear or meet your fear head on?
Toodles - Blog Happy!
“Only when we are no longer afraid
do we begin to live…”
- Dorothy Thompson
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i’m probably afraid of dying before i have all my papers in order. i have to get on this ASAP. i keep delaying it, but i am going to stop making excuses on this part of my life and get it done.
@ Natural
You know I am not really sure if “all” is possible, but a good amount will relieve some anxiety. At least the majors. And it’s actually pretty reasonable and simple. I work for an attorney and we specialize in “important papers”.. It really does put your mind at ease…good thing to add to your to do list.
there is just no way that you can make me less afraid of snakes
ha ha! That is too funny. You found it! So the “meeting your fear head on” theory doesn’t work for you?
I think I agree wit the fact that you may have to leave with your fears. It may never completely go away. I have some fears but I don’t let them stop me - heights, old age, people (interestingly, I’m a Pastor and I meet hundreds of people weekly!). It’s to march on inspite of our fears.
I read somewhere that a brave man is the person who is the only one that knows he’s afraid! I agree.
So, I’ve learnt to live with the fears and achieve in spite of them. If they go, great. If they don’t, then they’ll never be able to stop me, I promise them that!!!
Thanks NewBie, for the post.
@ WD Favour
I like that story about the brave man. That is something to think about and sounds true from the start.. I am sure most people have their own bravery story.
You have a good attitude about your fears, the more you fight them the smaller they get!