Misery Loves Company
March 17, 2009 by BloggerNewbie
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“Misery Loves Company”
It has been my observation of late that the saying or cliche’ – misery loves company – is a totally true statement.
People follow the negative attitude like a herd. The “herd” theory works everywhere you look, actions, attitude, etc. Except, of course, when the leader of the herd is positive; then the herd dissipates to follow other negative powers that be. Do people find it easier to be negative?
Ian from Quantum Learning just wrote a post about the world wide garbage dump epidemic and it just gets me started on a roll of crabbing.
Actually the post or conversation was not negative. The actions of some people was the discussion of negative. I can’t help myself. Hmmm, so it is true. Crabby likes crabby.
Well, in this case, sort of. We were just discussing how appalling it is to see the thoughtless disregard of the beauty of nature. It is a common reaction for most people to be stunned by this outrage. The act itself is what made me think of negative following negative not the discussion.
Why do people have a complete disregard for property of others? They wouldn’t give it a thought to throw garbage in their own yard. Well most wouldn’t. I don’t get it.
This is just one example of negative following negative. The real purpose of this post is to discuss how and/or why misery loves company.
I have noticed, for myself, the more people who are negative around me, the more negative I myself become. Why is it that positive isn’t so contagious? Positive is contagious to a degree. But if you have a group of people with one positive leader and one negative leader you will find a bigger group following the negative leader.
I have even gone so far as to try and turn the conversation around to positive but eventually give up. Then some time later I find myself being negative. It is harder to bring yourself back from the glass half empty attitude. How do you get people to see the glass as half full? That there is a bright side somewhere in the midst of your ordeal? Yeah, believe me – I know, sometimes it is buried.
Why is that? Don’t most people want to be positive? Don’t you hear people complain about negative attitudes? [Hey, that sounds ironic]. What do you do to stay positive? Why is there not a saying “blissfulness loves company?”
Toodles – Blog Happy!
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“The trick is in what one emphasizes.
We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same…”
~ Carlos Castaneda
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I agree with you about having miserable people around you seems to rub on you too and bringing you down. I try and be positive and look for the rainbow not the rain.
Also being negative is not good for your mental health overall. Being negative though gives you a lot more to talk about with anybody who will listen.
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Pauline:
Welcome to BloggerNewbie! Thank you for stopping by. The whole “misery loves company” certainly is an epidemic isn’t it?
For the most part, what’s the point in being negative. Too funny about the conversations, I never thought about that, but how true.
The question is, how do you protect yourself from falling into the negative trap?
I’m thinking [for me as The Secret advises] to be prepared with “happy thoughts” and escape to save yourself as soon as possible.
One way I try to keep positive is to remind myself that no matter how crappy I think my life is there is always someone that would love to trade places and be in my shoes.
Always start the day with an empty glass and it can only be filled throughout the day.
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A wise person once told me, “Always try and be polite to other people because you NEVER KNOW the hardships they may be facing”. That person told me this shortly after a few traumatic events happened in my family. I try to maintain that attitude everyday because you just never really know what other people are going through. It is true that negativity breeds negativity, some people relish in the misery of others. If you see someone without a smile on their face, give them yours! Have a great day!!
Here are a few quotes I would like to share;
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”
Buddha
“Being positive or negative are habits of thoughts that have a very strong influence on life.” –Remez Sasson
“Positive thinking and negative thinking are attitudes. They are points of view, and show the way people handle their affairs.” –Remez Sasson
Both positive and negative vibes are infectious. For some folks, negativity is all that they know, so they attract negative energy into their lives in the form of negative people, problems and such. It’s very hard to put up a shield against that kind of thing. All you can really do is try and minimize the opportunities for negative people to come into your life, and maintain that bright and positive attitude that is the true you.
George
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Deb:
Thanks for the uplifting comment. I try to think that and for the most part it is totally true.
Darcy:
You know for yourself when you are in the middle of a trauma and the world just keeps moving like nothing has happened that it feels so surreal. I especially like your candle quote. Some people act like if they share good or happy they will be taking away from themselves. Why is it so hard to share compliments or sunshine?
George:
You are spot on when you say you need to minimize the negative in your life. You can’t always eliminate negative (family and such) but try to get out while you can,save yourself!
i don’t have a clue dee. i guess it’s easier to be negative than it is to be positive. i read something in a book about negative people – complainers – and how you should deal with them. doing what it suggested works a little, but if people want to be unhappy, nothing you say or do will stop that. they will be unhappy.
Val:
Don’t keep it a secret! What was the suggestion?
I agree about people who want to be unhappy, can’t believe it’s true but they actually do want to be unhappy. I have tried to offer sulutions to their complaints but it falls on deaf ears, because that is what they want.
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Dee. I think we are all looking for a sense of belonging and community. And for many people it’s far less effort to get that together with people with similar outlook on life or similar circumstances. Generally we’re drawn to like-minded people. Happy people stick together, just as much as unhappy people seek each other out. I’ve noticed that even bloggers stick together!
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