Hello and Welcome to BloggerNewbie. Some really great advice. I’m a fixer and sometimes my mind won’t believe I just can’t fix people. I do get moments of clarity and realize that some people will just never figure it out and never accept responsibility for their own choices. I guess I just need to hear it (read it) out loud. Thanks for stopping by, I hope you come back real soon.

Not only are they negative, but they secretly derive satisfaction in keeping you down on their level. If you become better–more successful or less flawed–than them, that will shine a light on their inadequacies, and we humans don’t much like to be reminded of our failings.

You can’t change these people. You can’t change anyone unless they’re ready to change and want to take action themselves. A lot of people put a lot of stress on themselves by trying to save others, and it’s just not worth it because *you* can’t fix anyone else’s life. They have to want to fix it for themselves… and then you can help them.

Honestly, whether they’re family or not, the best solution is just to avoid them or at least mentally distance yourself from them. They’ll either figure it out for themselves down the road, or they never will. Accept that it’s out of your hands, and you’ll find dealing with them easier.

Good luck!

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Thanks, have you ever read the secret? That’s the whole premise behind it, your good attitude attracts good. You are welcome on the link, it made me think of my current situation, it’s such a struggle between compassion for others and self preservation!

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I definitely agree that it’s a good plan to distance yourself as much as possible and I certainly try. Sometimes I get so drained I would like to completely remove myself but alas for me, morally it’s hard to divorce family. Maybe distance your inner self?