I Don’t Know What To Do
November 7, 2008 by BloggerNewbie
I Don’t Know What To Do”
Decisions are a daily occurrence in our lives. 
Throughout our journey we are faced with many decisions. They range from silly easy ones to some that require a little thought, some that are difficult and some that are extremely difficult.
Every choice has a result. Every single decision you make today, big or small, will affect your life sooner or later. It might not be today, tomorrow or even next week but eventually you will see results. Good or bad, you will see results.
I personally believe that your attitude takes you places. If you have a positive attitude, you will see positive outcomes. If you are negative, you will attract negative. I have always believed that and it has served me well. You know some of the old sayings - “Do Unto Others”. , if you are there for people when they need you, they will be there for you when you need them. I try to be positive and believe them.
There are some people that ALWAYS need. Always need a shoulder to cry on, help with this, they can’t do that, and on and on. They always get the short end of the stick. I know a person that even goes so far as to say the weather is against him. I’m not kidding! I laugh out loud at that one.
Ross from “Will It Change You” speaks of Compassion vs Personal Growth. That can be a tough choice. Most people want to help others. They have compassion for someone in need. Ross makes a great point about striking a balance. There is a fine line between not helping enough and helping too much. The secret is finding that line and properly balancing on it.
I have a few people in my life that just can’t see the good in anything. Can consistently find negative in just about everything. I try, I really do, to show or offer the positive to help with their attitude. After just a couple of hours I feel like I am overdosed with these people. I have to get away because I can’t breathe.
So why do I ever go back? Yeah, you guessed it - family. Sometimes, I don’ know what to do. First they are family, second they need me or need help of some kind. I do feel compassion but luckily my instinct for survival keeps me from drowning.
I have a hard enough time keeping myself positive without having negative people around. I can tell you it is amazing how many negative people I know. Sometimes, I’m the only positive person I know. I’ve even been around people who are annoyed with my positive attitude! “Mary Sunshine.” I guess I could be called worse.
If things are going so well revert to plan b. If you don’t have a plan b, improvise and make one or just roll with the flow. If it’s raining outside on your outdoor project, postpone it and start your indoor project. If you don’t have one, come over to my house. I have 5 to 10 ongoing projects at any given time. I just don’t find anything productive in being negative.
I’m not saying I am perpetually “Mary Sunshine”, I am certainly not. I have my days just like everyone else. I just don’t like being negative, it doesn’t feel good. So after I have had enough of my own little pity party, I try to find my positive solution or sometimes just any solution and concentrate on something else.
When I quit smoking in January of this year it was one of the hardest goals I have ever accomplished. Even with half my family and friends continually telling me how hard it is and how often people fail at quitting smoking, despite all that support, I succeeded. Instead of concentrating on the “suffering” of quitting smoking I concentrated on my fitness, health and weight. I didn’t want to gain too much weight while I was quitting smoking. That’s not real positive.
I have repeatedly hoped that my positive attitude would rub off on my negative little family members but so far their negativity is too strong. I get too weak and sometimes succumb to the ugly opposite of positive. Then I realize that I am sinking into an abyss and if I don’t run and run fast I will not see the light of day or the sunshine for a long time.
My balance is that I will listen for awhile, for as long as I can take it, then I will offer my positives and hopelessly watch them fall on deaf ears, then I will plan and watch for my chance of escape till the next time.
What do you do?
Toodles - Blog Happy!
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“Most of the important things in the world
have been accomplished by people
who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all…”
- Dale Carnegie
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well when i’m not depressed, i’m very positive?
it’s just better than sitting around complaining about stuff that you can change. shut up and just do it.
negative people are just unhappy people. that’s my take. there’s something in their life they are unhappy with and whining seems easier than fixing.
i try to stay away from these peeps.
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@ Natural
I don’t know why negative people don’t see the effectiveness of actually changing the situation they are complaining about, but like you said some people just like to complain, justifies their outcomes..
Having been accused of being “Mr. Blue Skies” myself, I can certainly relate.
Negativity drags ya down. The hardest to deal with of course is family, you can’t divorce them - actually you can, but that’s a story for another time
I prefer to try and be positive while trying my best to not be naive. That’s a tough balance beam sometimes.
By the way, first time here. I likes what I sees, I’ll be subscribin now.
Cheers
George
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Hi George, Thanks for stopping by. It takes just as much energy if not more to be negative as it does to be positive.
Thank you for your compliments to my blog. I appreciate it.
“I personally believe that your attitude takes you places.” I completely agree.
Personally, I distance myself from toxic relationships as much as I can.
@ Vered
I definitely agree that it’s a good plan to distance yourself as much as possible and I certainly try. Sometimes I get so drained I would like to completely remove myself but alas for me, morally it’s hard to divorce family. Maybe distance your inner self?
I really like this post. I’m such a big believer in your attitude taking you places, and just how much you can achieve from being positive. Thanks for the link by the way, and congratulations on quitting smoking!
Ross´s last blog post..Reflections on three months of Change
@ Ross
Thanks, have you ever read the secret? That’s the whole premise behind it, your good attitude attracts good. You are welcome on the link, it made me think of my current situation, it’s such a struggle between compassion for others and self preservation!
One of the keys to success is to surround yourself with people who inspire you and make you want to work harder. On the flip side, one of the surest ways to fail is to surround yourself with people who drag you down.
Not only are they negative, but they secretly derive satisfaction in keeping you down on their level. If you become better–more successful or less flawed–than them, that will shine a light on their inadequacies, and we humans don’t much like to be reminded of our failings.
You can’t change these people. You can’t change anyone unless they’re ready to change and want to take action themselves. A lot of people put a lot of stress on themselves by trying to save others, and it’s just not worth it because *you* can’t fix anyone else’s life. They have to want to fix it for themselves… and then you can help them.
Honestly, whether they’re family or not, the best solution is just to avoid them or at least mentally distance yourself from them. They’ll either figure it out for themselves down the road, or they never will. Accept that it’s out of your hands, and you’ll find dealing with them easier.
Good luck!
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@ Lindsey
Hello and Welcome to BloggerNewbie. Some really great advice. I’m a fixer and sometimes my mind won’t believe I just can’t fix people. I do get moments of clarity and realize that some people will just never figure it out and never accept responsibility for their own choices. I guess I just need to hear it (read it) out loud. Thanks for stopping by, I hope you come back real soon.