I Don’t Care What People Think!
October 9, 2008 by BloggerNewbie
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I always said 
that I don’t care what people think about me or about what I do. To a small degree – that is true. I know who I am and what I do so if people think otherwise, then I can’t help them. People will think exactly what they want to think and sometimes there is little you can do about it.
People love to “gossip” and only about the down and dirty! Have you ever heard anyone spread rumors or gossip about something good someone did? Not usually. Even when the entire “event” is 90% good and something embarrassing or humiliating happens, that’s the only part people repeat. But for the most part, I’ve learned over the last forty plus years that what people think of me has to be taken with a grain of salt. I can’t rule their behavior or personality. Some people thrive on gossiping. And you know who these people are. These people are always talking about someone. The more people they can include in the gossip story, the better they feel. Unfortunately, a person who delights in this behavior is covering up for their own problems. Just remember – if they will do it with you, they will do it to you. (Dr. Phil loves to say that!)
Unfortunately, what people say often does concern and affect others. The victim is not able to convince themselves that what people think is not important. Especially strangers. I am concerned with what people think of me or of what I do (again to a point). I don’t try to prove to them or anyone else that I am a good person. I may try to correct them but most often that falls on deaf ears.
Worrying about what people think about you or say about you can cause inner conflict. Frequently, you can become apprehensive about your every day actions or even words as a result. Sometimes called shyness? This “shyness” is nothing more than a fear of doing something wrong or embarrassing yourself in front of others, especially strangers. You can probably blame your mother. Isn’t that always the answer? In our early childhood training, mother always said “Always wear clean underwear when you go out in case you’re in an accident”? If you shame or embarrass yourself you will shame and embarrass your family.
A fear of taking a small risk when meeting someone we don’t know in case we so something “stupid” thus embarrassing or shaming ourselves (and our families) as a result, is what we call lack of self-confidence. It’s easier to remain cautious than to get involved and publicly embarrass ourselves.
Then there is the fear of being wrong! That can paralyze you. Shedding our inhibitions and fear of being wrong means putting ourselves at risk. Not at just being wrong, but of being ridiculed or publicly criticized for what we did.
What we may not realize 
is that every individual from greatest to most humble displays an act of great courage each time they put themselves on display, risking the displeasure and criticism of others. You have often heard celebrities say they are nervous before they perform. Yes, even the most confident or those who appear the most confident.
It is a good day when we can exert courage and take risks and are able to accept that both praise and rejection are fleeting. The same people who give either praise or criticism cared nothing for you a few minutes before you put yourself out there and will care nothing for you a few minutes after expressing their opinions.
If your mother thinks you’re a jerk, that’s one thing. But if someone you don’t know, just met and have the choice of never seeing again shortly thereafter doesn’t like you, there is no point in taking baseless criticism from them seriously.
A stranger will forget you or what you did immediately after witnessing your experience. Letting that criticism affect you for any length of time afterward serves only to harm you. Not attempting to do or say something out of sheer fear of criticism is worse because you unconsciously imprison yourself in a limited life.
Since we can never please everyone, as I discussed in a previous post “I’m a People Pleaser!” it makes perfect sense that no matter what we do some people will dislike it or criticize it. Others will like it if we give enough of them a chance.
Why should we care about the opinions of people we will likely never meet again? More importantly, why allow the opinions of people who care nothing about you to affect your life and how you approach opportunities that present themselves? When it comes to taking risks and possibly being wrong, only your opinion and the opinions of those you care about should matter.
How do you deal with the paralyzing fear of public criticism? Maybe your hint and suggestion will help someone deal with their anxiety.
Toodles – Blog Happy!
“We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals;
others, by their acts…
- Harold Nicolson
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